


Bird's Food

by HereQueerAndLovingCicadas



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Diners, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-22 01:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13753716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereQueerAndLovingCicadas/pseuds/HereQueerAndLovingCicadas
Summary: Kravitz doesn't eat out, until he does.





	1. The Politics of Starving

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I haven't written anything in a few years but got inspired out of the blue to do a modern au Taakitz fic. It's unbeta'd. No update schedule, just whenever a chapter is finished. 
> 
> All characters belong to the wonderful McElroys, I'm simply using them to make up for my own lack of originality and because they're great.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz is a hungry boy

Kravitz didn't eat out, at least not if given the choice. Sure there was the necessary business lunch here and there to schmooze over a client but that was it. He just didn’t see the point when he could make perfectly edible food at home. But it was now midnight, he'd had to skip lunch and it was looking like he'd be working another few hours at least. He probably would have just gone without if not for his boss, who everyone just called the Raven Queen, calling him out after a particularly loud groan of hunger, insisting he take a break and go get something to eat. 

So here Kravitz was, suit and all, walking into the first restaurant he could find open, an empty dimly lit diner with a bright red neon sign above proudly proclaiming the place as ‘Bird’s Food’. He'd was about to dismiss it by name alone were it not for the piece of paper taped to the door reading in a ruby red comic sans ‘We serve food for people. Not birds.’ 

As he entered the place, small bell ringing above his head, he heard a voice call out from the back “Just sit anywhere, I'll be there in a minute.” Looking around Kravitz was greeted by red, lots of red, red booths, red stools, red counter tops, red napkins, even red menus. One of which he picked up slipping onto one of the stools directly in front of the door. If he'd not been put off by the overwhelming amount of red decor then the menu surely would have done it. It was an… eclectic variety. Risotto, Pad Thai, pizza, pancakes, a ‘thanksgiving special' despite it being early March, something called ‘THE MAGNUS' with no description but several thumbs up emojis, various salads, and most curiously of all three pieces of white bread with no crust on one of them served with a side of gummy worms. 

Kravitz was ready to walk out reading it over but was stopped by a short haired elf woman taking the menu from his hands and saying nonchalantly “Any food allergies?”. It took him a beat to answer a questioning “No?” being further put off by the lack of common restaurant etiquette. “Awesome.” She replied before yelling “We got a new guy here bro!” Then turning back to Kravitz “I'm Lup, welcome to Bird's. So here's the skinny, new customers get the new guy special, one time thing. It's gonna blow you away and you just pay what you want. I'll get you some water.” 

Kravitz sat there stunned until Lup returned with his water, finally gathering himself enough to say “This is ridiculous, you can't just order for a customer.” She just smiled at him “I just did my man, besides you look too hungry to complain about what you're getting.” He opened his mouth to speak again but before he could get any words out another voice called out from the back “New Guy's food is ready!” and Lup left him.

When she returned she simply placed a plate of tacos in front of him and left for the kitchen saying “Like I said, just pay what you want when you're done. Have a good one, see you soon!” Kravitz sat there, frustrated and confused, for a minute until another loud stomach growl rolled through him. Sighing he picked up the first one the three tacos and hesitantly took a bite. Instantly his mouth exploded with flavours he didn't think were possible, bits of savoury blended with sweet, salty, and sour. It didn't take him long to devour the first one before moving onto the second, again his tongue was set alight by flavour, this one different than the last, better. The third was the same, a new bolder flavor enhanced by the previous two.

When Kravitz finished eating he almost instinctively went to grab for more only to find the plate empty. Shaking his head and smiling he reached into his wallet, dropped what he would've paid for an expensive business lunch onto the counter, downed his water and left, bell tinkling above his head. Thinking to himself all the while that while he could make perfectly edible food at home he would have to rethink his policy about eating out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading!!


	2. First High in the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz returns

Kravitz decides the next day to never go back, the food was stellar but it doesn't change the fact that he was treated rudely and the place was just too strange. Kravitz likes boring, he likes tidy, he likes routine, and although he doubts it'll ever come up again he's decided he doesn't like having tacos dropped in front of him without ordering them… even if they are delicious.

He lasts a total of four days, four days of his once perfectly edible food now tasting bland and grey, causing him to add more spices until he loses any flavour the meal had to begin with. Finally one morning on his weekly bike to work instead of driving he passes the ‘Bird's Food' and the temptation is too much to bear. He parks his bike and walks in with the intention of telling the waitress he'd had how a business is properly run and getting some quick, normal food. 

What he gets instead is a polite, mustachioed gnome man welcoming him to the now bustling restaurant with a warm smile and a “Welcome to Bird's! I'm Davenport and I'll be your server this morning. Follow me and we'll get you seated right away.” So Kravitz gets seated in one of the garish red booths and is handed a menu, looking it over as Davenport goes to get him some water. He expects to see the peculiar selection again but instead it's a perfectly ordinary menu, mostly human breakfast staples spotted here and there with a gnomish or dwarven favourite. 

When Davenport returns and asks him if he's ready to order Kravitz is at a loss… he wasn't sure what he was expecting just not this. “I was here a few nights ago and things were… different?” he tries to explain. Davenport just sighs and puts a hand to his face, “Night as in late night… like past midnight?” Kravitz nods “I'm so sorry about that. We actually run the restaurant in shifts you see. Lucy, Barry, and I in the morning, Magnus and Merle at lunch and dinner… and the twins take the late night shift. They get bored and go off script sometimes. We actually get a lot of their new customers coming in and asking for some magical tacos.” Kravitz felt blood rushing to his face, blushing knowing he'd fallen into the same trap as many others.

“Wait… did you say Magnus? As in THE MAGNUS?” Kravitz asked remembering the menu from last time. At this Davenport paled “Oh Istus please don't tell me you ordered THE MAGNUS, I told them to take it off their menu we cannot afford another law suit.” “No, no, nothing like that. Look I'm in a bit of a hurry, could I just get some pancakes and coffee?” Relaxing at response Davenport confirmed his order and ran to the back, picking up various plates, bills, and glasses along the way with the practiced movements of someone who'd mastered the art years ago. As Kravitz glanced around the diner he noticed it felt much more natural filled with people. The ruby red no longer so all consuming.

Davenport returned a few minutes with Kravitz’s food and coffee, “ I know you business types are all hustle and bustle in the morning so I won't keep you. Have a good day sir!” Kravitz looked at his stack of pancakes, fluffy and glistening slightly, with a messy oozing syrup heart around them. He ate quietly, and slowly, taking each bite as an experience. They weren't the flavour explosion like the tacos were, they tasted like… home. Which was curious, because for all intents and purposes food was never an important part in his home growing up. Simple energy intake prepped for him by someone his mother hired, eaten in his room to keep up with his studies better. But there was no other word for how he felt eating those pancakes. 

Kravitz was staring out the window watching the city pass, food long since finished when his emergency alarm went off letting him know he was in danger of being late. He dropped enough gold onto so that he was sure the bill was covered and ran out the door and onto his bike. Swearing the entire ride to work and arriving sweaty and out of breath Kravitz was sure it wouldn't take him another four days to go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kind comments and kudos. It really inspired me to commit to writing this well.
> 
> Sorry it's more set up and exposition stuff but I promise lots of Taakitz fluff once we get there.


	3. Ache with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These sweet sweet boys finally meet

Two days later and Kravitz was stuck at work again, another day spent hunting down various clients and lawyers only to end up by himself making several edits to a series of contracts past midnight. Deciding that what little left that needed to be done could be finished in the morning when he was more alert and less likely to make mistakes Kravitz packed up his bag and walked down to the lobby. He nodded politely at the night security guard, Avi he thought the man’s name was, who nodded back “Working late again sir? You should really take better care of yourself if you don’t mind me saying so. You look awfully pale.” Kravitz was about to give him some snarky reply only to be interrupted by his traitorous stomach growling, choosing instead to just bid the man a goodnight and exit.

Kravitz pressed his forehead into his steering wheel when he got into his car. He was hungry, that was obvious and had been for hours now, but he was determined to make it at least a week before returning this late at night, he needed some self-satisfaction in outlasting his desires. But another, louder growl from his stomach and the thought of another meal of reheated pizza put him decidedly in the “Screw it” mentality and he drove straight to what he’d guessed had to be the strangest diner in all of Neverwinter, if not all of Faerun. 

When he entered the aggressively red diner, bell above announcing his arrival, he’d expected it to be empty like the last time he was here this late. Instead when he glanced around there were two other people there, one a half-elf with dark circles under his eyes and a tarnished violin sitting on the table, furiously writing on some napkins, and if the stack next to him was anything to go by then he’d been at it for at least a couple hours now. The other was somehow the strangest thing he’d seen so far in “Bird’s Food”, half of the diner’s lights had been turned off seemingly to accommodate a young boy sleeping in a cot that was placed against the far wall, a pair of glasses, various writing utensils, some dirty plates, a half full glass of water, and stacks upon stacks of books surrounding the cot. 

Kravitz slipped onto the same stool he’d taken that first night and glanced at the menu, it seemed to be back to the eclectic version, though notably in the spot where ‘THE MAGNUS’ had once been there was now a block of neat red marker lines topped with a scribbled drawing of a middle finger in black, although when he checked a couple of the other menus the middle finger was replaced by a variety of insults and crude drawings. Settling in Kravitz removed his jacket coat, and rolled his shoulders letting the days stress start to melt off of him, finally settling on what he was going to order he set down his menu and looked up, straight into the eyes of Lup, staring at him with a look of… hunger? Noticing she’d been caught she quickly ran over to the half-elf musician’s table and set a plate of breadsticks onto it, earning a grumbled “Thanks” as he pushed it to the side to continue with his writing. 

She returned to the counter in front of him, leaning against it with arms crossed and said in a much different voice than expected “So who would be this new, tall, dark, and handsome drink of water be?” Kravitz paused for a second trying to figure out the game “Um… I would be Kravitz? I was here on Tuesday… You served me Lup, well not so much as served as gave me some tacos and told me to leave money on the table.” The elf in front of him reeled back giving a loud sharp bark of laughter before slapping a hand over their mouth and looking towards the sleeping child. Seemingly satisfied the child was still asleep they turned back at Kravitz and said “Oh man thug. You thought I was Lup? That’s hilarious.” Blushing Kravitz defensively asked “Why wouldn’t I? My memory is so far gone that I can’t remember less than a week ago.” Not-Lup made a show of twirling around and grabbing a chef’s hat off of a shelf behind them, putting it on dramatically and saying “For one my dear dear sister is away for the evening, Mondays are ‘Date Night’ for the happy couple, bleh, and for two my handsome friend I am obviously the one, the only, the inscrutable and magnificent Taako. You know, from the kitchen.” 

Kravitz just stared blankly at Taako who continued “Wait, that makes you the new guy from Tuesday right? Shit yeah, Lup totally owes ch’boy five gold. I called less than a week and she thought you were too uptight to come back somewhere with bad service. My food rules.” Kravitz’s blush deepened at the mention of a week “Right, the gnome waiter from the other day said something about twins…” Kravitz said mostly to himself. “Istus do not mention Cap’nport in front of me for at least a month.” Taako sighed, leaning his back against the counter. “The stiff won’t even let us screw with other stiffs who order from the menu. Just cause one of those bozos tried to sue us.” He tipped his head backwards, letting the loose strands of hair fall onto counter staring at Kravitz upside down. 

“What did you mean by ordering from the menu?” Kravitz asked the smiling chef. “The menu is a joke my man. It’s for overworked business types who are too entrenched in the rules not to ask the best chef in the world for whatever they want. Well, anything but tacos, that really is a one-time thing for customers.” Taako explained, waving his hands exaggeratedly. Kravitz's blush deepened as Taako was describing him to a tee. 

“Oh,” Kravitz pondered disappointed, he’d actually been about to ask if he could get the ‘new guy special’ again. “Could I get some kind of pasta? Chef’s choice on what specifically.” Taako stood up straight and turned, giving Kravitz a pat on the cheek. “Chef’s choice is always the right choice my dude.” Then he walked back to the kitchen with some generous hip swaying. 

He returned a short while later with a plate of some type of gnomish noodle dish in a peanut sauce that Kravitz didn’t quite recognize. Taako opened his mouth to explain what it was but was interrupted by the tinkling bell of a new customer. Kravitz turned and saw a young couple, a small dragonborn and a much larger orc. “Ah finally. Hey Krav just pay what you want when you’re done, that’s usually our rule on the late shift unless you get stingy or order something crazy. I gotta talk to these ladies for a while about some… business stuff. Ask Johann if you need anything, he’s the awake one of these bums and he’s technically on the clock.” Taako walked to the darkened part of the restaurant where the young couple followed him into another room with a sign labeled “Birds and friends of Birds only.” 

Deciding it wasn’t any of his business Kravitz dug into his food, it was spectacular, not the homey quality that led him to quietly watch the city like the pancakes, and not the flavor explosion of those first tacos. Something new, something that made him feel like he was raised in the gnomish capital city, entrenched in flavors he’d known all his life despite not even knowing what he was eating. He finished quickly, ravenous from the day’s work, dropped what he deemed was an appropriate payment on the table and left satisfied. Or at least his stomach was, for some reason Kravitz felt as though something was missing on the drive home, but decided it was a problem for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, got a longer chapter finished. I will probably not be keeping up with this schedule of updating daily but we're riding these writing juices as far as they'll go for now. 
> 
> Again huge thanks to everyone who reads, leaves kudos, and comments, it really is the highlight of my day seeing that people are enjoying this.


	4. All This (And More)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deals are struck

As much as Kravitz was enjoying his visits to the diner it just wasn't responsible to keep going as often as he was, so he'd decided to limit himself to once a week from this point onward. The problem arose three days into his resolution when he realized he still couldn't stand his own cooking. So, he'd printed off several recipes to try and improve, only to find his cupboards and fridge bare of everything but the most basic of ingredients. 

Which is why he was at the Fantasy Costco, not his usual big box grocery store but a smaller place within walking distance of his apartment that specialized in fresh produce. He’d never been in before but the place always seemed stocked and full of chef types whenever he passed. Kravitz picked up a tomato to inspect it, feeling rather silly once he realized that he had no idea what he was looking for just that adults inspected their produce before buying it. Satisfied that he had put on enough of a show he went to grab one of those flimsy plastic bags only to have the tomato plucked from his hand, “My dude, why are you buying this garbage tomate?” a familiar elven voice asked. 

Kravitz turned around to see Taako tossing his tomato back into the pile. Either due to fact Taako was now out of the simple garments he’d been wearing at the shop and in something much more glamourous, a t-shirt for a local punk band with the neck torn wide so it could expose a shoulder and a skirt cut just short enough to be flirty, or that Kravitz was now much more awake and clear headed he found the elf breathtaking. 

Put off balance Kravitz simply stared and took in all that was Taako while the elf rummaged through the pile of tomatoes, pulling out a dozen that he neatly stacked in a brown paper bag that he’d seemingly brought with him then placing another one gently in Kravitz’s hand “That one’s much better”, he said turning to walk off. 

Coming to his senses Kravitz stammered out “Wait, this is incredibly embarrassing and I know we don’t really know each other but I have no idea what I’m looking for. Would you maybe be willing to help me find and pick out what I need for these recipes?” Taako took a beat then turned back with a broad, almost smug smile. “You are _adorable_ lemme look at these.” Taako grabbed the neatly organized sheets of paper off Kravitz’s cart and looked them over scoffing and shaking his head, clearly frustrated he looked Kravitz up and down before grabbing a pen sitting neatly in his breast pocket. “Hey! What are you doing?” Kravitz asked as Taako began crossing things out and scribbling notes across each of the recipes in turn. “Shush, I’m fixing some dumb internet blogger’s mistakes.” 

Once he’d finished Taako clicked the pen shut satisfied and put it back in Kravitz’s pocket, letting his hand rest on the half-elf’s chest for half a second. “Okay, were at Fantasy Costco so let’s make a deal. I help you shop for all the stuff you need but in return you follow my recipes to a tee and let me know how it goes. Oh, and you gotta help me carry all this junk back to the diner. I normally have Mag’s help on grocery days but the big guy had to do parent stuff. So, we got a deal or what?” Taako stuck out his hand expectantly, with perfectly kept short nails Kravitz noticed. “Not sure what the grocer has anything to do with it but sure, we’ve got a deal.” He took Taako’s hand and gave him a firm handshake. “This is totally your first time at Fantasy Costco isn’t it, this is gonna be sick.” 

And so, they went, isle by isle picking up whatever the diner had run out of and needed a restock on before their weekly deliveries and all the necessary ingredients for Kravitz’s now edited recipes, Taako taking the time to explain what he should be looking for in produce and which brands of packaged products were the best for the price. As well as whatever Taako deemed an “absolute must have in the kitchen” once Kravitz had told him how barren his place was and anything that caught Taako’s eye for something more “experimental”. 

Things got weird for Kravitz again once they’d moved to check out, Taako had gone first where a strange man in a hoodie who was the first and only employee Kravitz had seen in the place asked if Taako would like to change their deal. Taako answered in the negative, paid for his groceries and handed him another one of his brown paper bags, this one filled with something, the hooded man looked inside, took a deep sniff and waved Taako away, motioning for Kravitz to check out. The man counted up Kravitz’s goods, Kravitz counted up the requisite amount of gold, handing it the man. The man just smiled as he said “Now, a new customer. All new customers must engage me in a test of Wits and Wagers, make a deal yes? What can you offer me, Garfield The Deals Warlock in exchange for my fine foodstuffs?” Kravitz looked around confused, only to find Taako watching him holding his hand up to his face to stifle laughter. “Gold?”.

“Yes yes boy, that’s a given, I’ve got your gold. But what else hmmm? All customers must offer something in addition to the price of their goods. How about that fine pen I see? I’m always in need of more pens, lots of deals to sign.” Kravitz pulled out the pen from his jacket and inspected it, it was one of his nicer ones but he’d been given plenty of similar ones as gifts with each promotion he’d gotten at work. “But… why? Actually, you know what, fine, take it… Just take it.” Kravitz said dropping it into Garfield’s outstretched hand. The “Deals Warlock” slipped it into his sleeve and grabbed Kravitz’s still outstretched hand shaking it. “A fine deal yes, Visit again soon.” 

Kravitz walked over to Taako and picked up a couple of the laughing elf’s bags, fulfilling his promise to help out. “Man, ch’boy _loves_ seeing people make their first deal, c’mon let’s blow this popsicle stand.” And so, they left, side by side towards the diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyyy, so this bit ended up longer than I was expecting and the next one is also turning out pretty long for this fic so I'm just gonna break it up into two chapters. 
> 
> As always this is unbeta'd and the update schedule is whenever the chapter is done.
> 
> And a huge thanks to everyone for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting. You're all awesome. This is my first time writing anything M/M so I hope I'm doing okay so far, I know things are mostly platonic as of now but I want a good build up and all that, promising lots of fluffy romantic feels down the line.


	5. Walking is Still Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys walk and talk

Taako and Kravitz walked in relative silence for a few blocks until they hit the latter’s apartment where he made a quick trip up to drop of his own groceries. When Kravitz came back down he took a couple more bags off of Taako who was struggling with the weight of the produce. “Thanks my dude, I owe you one. Ch’boy is not used to having to carry this much, normally I just buy what we need and ship it off on the ol’ meat wagon.” Kravitz gave the shorter elf a quizzical look, “Meat wagon?” Taako gave the now familiar snort of laughter, “You clearly haven’t been in for lunch yet. Magnus, tall dude, all muscles, soft personality.”

Kravitz nodded, remembering Davenport’s list of names, “Ah, yeah haven’t met him yet. I think just you, Lup, and Davenport.” Taako gave a small shrug in response, “Yeah, there’s 7 ‘Birds’, Lup and I are obvs the coolest of the bunch, fabulous rebels without a cause. Cap’nport is stuffy as hell, keeps the ship on course though, and he’s generally a good dude when he’s not killing our fun. Just told you about Magnus, the big softie. Barry is Lup’s husband, absolute nerd, wears blue jeans 24/7, which let me tell you is a hell of fashion-damper.” Taako looked Kravitz up and down “I get the feeling you two would get along though. Uh… there’s Lucretia, hella no nonsense but she cares y’know. Sometimes misguided but you can tell it comes from a good place. And that leaves Merle, kind of a weird old dude but he’s still got a lot of wisdom in there, and he makes things work when they need to.”

Kravitz just listened and smiled as Taako described his coworkers, genuinely interested in the bunch, not to mention the fact that Taako’s voice was like a fine instrument to his ears. “Wait, I thought you said the guy with the violin worked with you… Johann?” 

Taako waved his hand dismissively, “Nah, we get outside help sometimes but that doesn’t make you a bird. Johann just comes in on Mondays to write enough songs to pitch to ad agencies and record companies that won’t credit him with shit, which is fucked. Dude likes the quiet and gets a couple meals in exchange for helping out if more than one customer comes in at a time.” Kravitz grimaced in response “It’s definitely not an easy career to get into. Who were the two women that you had business with that night? More helpers?”

Taako noticeably tensed at that, “Carey and Killian? Um…Kinda? They're life savers, just not in the same way as Johann. I really can’t get too much more into detail about it, personal shit and all.” Kravitz blushed and up his hands up in surrender “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, your life is just very interesting and I uh… wanted to know more?”

“It’s cool, I’m pretty much an open book, just certain things I gotta protect, y’know? Thanks again for the help, if you wanna just set those down wherever I can get it from here.” Kravitz looked up to find they were already at the diner, surprised that time had passed so quickly. He did as instructed and set the bags against the outer wall near the door. 

“Um, I don’t want to sound presumptuous but I couldn’t help but notice you had a stone of far speech, and I… well I had a really good time talking with you so I was thinking that maybe we could… well talk more later sometime?” Kravitz stammered out nervously, holding his own stone in his palm. Taako gave him a broad toothy smile, “For sure, but like I said you have to let me know how those recipes turn out.” He said pressing their stones together to attune them. Kravitz smiled back just as wide, “I will. I definitely will do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry this took so long to get out, my boyfriend and I were in the same town last week for the first time since Christmas so I didn't have a ton of free time open to write.
> 
> As always, no set update schedule and chapters are un-beta'd
> 
> And a genuine huge thanks to everyone for reading, leaving kudos and comments.


End file.
